progladyte Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 (edited) Love the British cows. Q. How do you know when your mother in law's got Mad Cows Disease? A1. When she wants to go line dancing.... or...... A2. You don't............ but you can rightfully assume..... Edited June 13, 2012 by progladyte 1
DoggieHowser Posted June 13, 2012 Posted June 13, 2012 It's been a few years since I last watched this but it still makes me laugh... And looks like another act has also caught on to the same concept. [media=]
Guest Willow Posted June 14, 2012 Posted June 14, 2012 Bull Market Two sisters , one brunette and one blonde inherit the family property , unfortunately after just a few years they find themselves in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the property they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock , and after locating a likely candidate the brunette sister makes preparations , upon leaving she informs her sister , " When I get there , if I decide to buy the bull , I'll contact you to drive out with the truck after me and haul it home ". The brunette arrives at the seller's cattle station , inspects the bull , and decides she wants to purchase. The owner tells her that he will sell for $1999 , and no less , after paying him she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to inform her of the news , she walks into the telegraph office and says , " I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our property , and that I need her to drive out here with the truck so we can haul it home ". The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to assist , then adds it will cost .99 cents a word , well , after paying for the bull the brunette realises that she only has enough money to pay for one word , after a few moments thinking she nods and says , " That's fine , I want you to send her the word * comfortable *. The operator shakes his head , " How is she ever going to know that you want her to drive out here with the truck to haul a bull back home if you send her just the word comfortable ? ". The brunette explains , " My sister is blonde , it's a big word , she'll read it slowly..... com-for-da-bul ".
dirty Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 Joke of the day from the Herald Sun. A 98 year old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying. The nuns gathered round her bed trying to make her last journey more comfortable.They tried giving her some warm milk but she refused it. One of the nuns took the milk back to the kitchen and remembered a bottle of Irish Whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. She went back to the Mother Superior's bed. The nun held the glass up to her lips. The Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more, before they knew it she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. "Mother", a nun asked, "please give us some wisdom before you die". The Mother Superior raised herself up in bed and whispered ..... "Don't sell that cow".
robin-hobart Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 (edited) Apologies if this is stale.... tickled me. I took the missus to a disco on the weekend. There was this guy on the dance-floor gyrating, back-flipping, break-dancing, moon-walking and doing back-flips, the works. My wife said to me, ‘See that guy on the dance floor, well, 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down’. I said, ‘Looks like he’s still f*****g celebrating’. Edited June 16, 2012 by robin-hobart 2
Willco Posted June 16, 2012 Posted June 16, 2012 Language lesson for today W http://www.youtube.c...player_embedded 3
Red One Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 Always read the reviews or instructions before use http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK/ref=cm_cr_pr_btm_helpful?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0
djOS Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 Always read the reviews or instructions before use http://www.amazon.co.uk/product-reviews/B000KKNQBK/ref=cm_cr_pr_btm_helpful?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0 That was hilarious!
Steve C Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 That was hilarious! Sure was!! Despite how 'hair-raising' some of the reviews were...
gone_bush Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 TRUE STOREY I was feeling a bit sore after a weekend spent in the garden. The Dearly Beloved Ex was rubbing some Dencorub on the sore spots when she got a little too amorous... Well, I'm sure you know where this is heading. I can assure you that no amount of standing under a cold shower puts out the fire!
DrP Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 I was feeling a bit sore after a weekend spent in the garden. The Dearly Beloved Ex was rubbing some Dencorub on the sore spots when she got a little too amorous... Well, I'm sure you know where this is heading. Some accompaniment
progladyte Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 Feeling a bit cocky after seeing that one Willco! 1
Nigel Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 It just occurred to me that I can't remember a Coca Cola ad for a long time and they used to be mega and frequent. Is there a ban on their ads ? (for being harmful to health)
cableconnoisseur Posted June 17, 2012 Posted June 17, 2012 Language lesson for today W http://www.youtube.c...player_embedded F@@@rk...........I've been wrong for thinking how popular I was with Korean tourists all this time................
Steve C Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 Unfortunately that was not where the fire was! Not a religious experience then? You know... the ole burning bush!!! Unless you'd already done the deforestation thing that is...
Mining Man Posted June 18, 2012 Posted June 18, 2012 Always read the reviews or instructions before use http://www.amazon.co...howViewpoints=0 More than one fan of Roger Mellie in there.
dirty Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 (edited) Paddy goes into a florist and says, I would like to buy a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend. The florist looked at him and said, "Certainly Sir, what is it you're after?" Paddy replies "A shag" Edited June 19, 2012 by dirty 1
ssgp2 Posted June 19, 2012 Posted June 19, 2012 The Aussie way of explaining the European economic crisis. Uploaded with ImageShack.us 1
Nigel Posted June 20, 2012 Posted June 20, 2012 Did you hear the cute jewish joke on telly, can't remember who told it.... Jewish woman on the beach screaming: "Help! Help!, my son, the doctor,is drowning!"
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